The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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