do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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