wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
