So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
