My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
