I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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