hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she told me i tasted like america
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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