look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
