there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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