this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
