where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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