i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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