i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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