Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize