Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
