yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
