marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize