Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just pee around me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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