new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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