I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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