you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
