38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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