Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
