If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
