He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
