When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
