He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
