There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
