That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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