Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
