i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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