That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
