you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
