just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
