i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
