What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
