I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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