is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize