I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
