So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
