K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
