I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
