turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
