YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
