then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
false alarm. still invincible.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
