He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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