I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
