if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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