I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
