drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
