fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
