I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
