do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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