She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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