I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
