Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
