So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
