hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
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